Sunday, September 11, 2011

I Will Remember You

And I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don’t let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories



Sung by Sarah McLachlan


September 11, 2001




I will never forget that day.  I was at my parents home in Ontario, my mom who never watches TV during the day, got a phone call and when she turned the TV on, I knew something big was happening.  It was like watching a movie, not something that was actually happening. My heart went out to all of the people who lost someone in that senseless tragedy.

I think it's important that each year we mark the day and take a moment to remember the people who lost their lives, but this year, the 10th anniversary I see the coverage from ground zero, and see how it's changing and becoming a symbol of hope.  I loved to see the waterfall and the names of people who lost their lives there in bronze surrounding it, and I wonder why the sight and sound of water calms and soothes us so?

This time holds a lot of memories for me, of a precious time that I'll always hold close to my heart.  Tragic for a different, more personal reason.

August 2010 I got a phone call from my parents that no one wants to receive.  My dad had been diagnosed with inoperable lung cancer.  My husband and I talked and we decided that Josh and I would go back to spend time with him.  I wanted Josh to have memories of my dad and living so far away, we didn't get to see him that often.  We bought our tickets and flew to Ontario on September 10th....after seeing what happened on the 11th I told my parents, I'm so glad I arrived the day before because had my ticket been for after the 11th, I wouldn't have come. I had a hard time getting on the plane to come home.  I've always been a nervous flyer, and of course that event compounded it.

My father passed away on the morning of November 12, 2001 and I am so happy I got to spend that time with him, hold his hand and tell him how much I loved him.  We had some great long talks about life, I listened  and laughed with him at stories he told me of the antics of him and his buddies when they were young boys.  I also listened to mistakes he thought he'd made and regrets he'd had.  When I was by myself all alone, I cried for him.  I loved him so much and I knew he was dying.

It's hard to believe it's been 10 years, and as much as we want it to STOP, life marches on.....

Josh was 6 when we flew to Ontario, and he's 16 now and in his last year of high school. Did we raise him the right way?  Did we teach him enough?

In 2005 my husband of 22 years suddenly and unexpectedly died and all the sudden I wasn't so sure of myself and my life anymore. A life I was happy with and quite secure in, and I thought it would go on forever......

In 2008 I got remarried to a wonderful man, who suffered the same tragedy and lost his wife the same way I lost my husband. We connected instantly and never looked back.


I cry when I watch the memorial and see the families who lost someone in the 9-11 tragedy.  My heart goes out to them, I feel their pain of losing loved ones.  I lost in a very different way than them, but it's all loss, and there is never enough time to spend with those you love.


Tracey Heart